So I'm not very good at this blogging thing so far...It's not that I don't have anything to say, I do. I'm just figuring out how much of my life I want to share, I think. I'm not even sure that's why I've I had such a hard time writing. Blogging felt great the first couple of times, but then I realized that once I post it, it's out there for anyone to see and forever. It just seems overwhelming, like most things these days.
The other night, I woke up and couldn't even wrap my mind around the fact that I had lost my son. I couldn't comprehend that I would never hold him and never see him grow up. How do I deal with losing my son? How do I wake up every day and go on about my life knowing he will never live his here with us? I will never have answers for these questions other than I will deal and I will wake up everyday and continue to live my life. The loss I feel for my son will always be there. It will change shape from time to time, but it will always be there. Right next to it will be my deep, deep love for him.
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