It's been a while. I'm sure you've noticed, I did not finish the Capture Your Grief project. I was gung-ho at first but started to fade. The past month has been a whirlwind in our household.
We've sold our house, twice, and have lost both contracts for reasons beyond our control. We are now hoping to be at sell number three, I really hope third time is a charm. To keep a home show-ready with two full-time working adults and a one year old who loves to touch/lick everything is nearly impossible, but somehow we've managed. We've even gotten comments on how nice our home is, who knew?
But...I'm ready for it to be done. We have a home that is waiting for us, we just need to get there. I'm ready to live with all of our stuff again, especially the remnants of Alfy, his toybox and the photos of his gravestone. It feels like we aren't representing our whole family during this sale. On the other hand, knowing what I do about people and how surface level they are, I can't imagine prospective buyers wanting to look at a photo of a child's gravestone as they walk through our home. With that end, though, all photos in our home are gone right now. Ready for them to be back.
I will miss this home terribly. There are so many important memories held in these walls. There is an irrational part of me that feels like the walls will hold on to the memories I so desperately want to keep. Vinny's and Alfy's room will be the hardest to clear and leave. That room holds more emotion and has seen me at rock bottom and on top of the world. I will miss our deck too, especially sitting on the steps. And our kitchen, and the living room and our bedroom. All of it. It has been such a wonderful home for our family. I hope the next to move in will treat it with the respect, care and love it deserves.
And...I really want to be done with this whole house selling process. It really kind of sucks, in case you haven't been through it.
Oh, and thanks for sticking with me. I will probably continue to be sporadic on this site. I just don't make blogging a priority right now. That's okay by me, but I don't plan on disappearing completely:)
