Checking in, can't sleep. I've realized that I will never be one of those people who can maintain a blog on a regular basis. My writing will come out sporadically and if I have to write, like at work sometimes. Oh well, I can live with that.
But, I think it's nice to check in once in a while.
We are less than two weeks out from Alfy's third birthday. I can hardly believe it, 3 years. Where has the time gone? In addition to Alfy being gone for almost 3 years, he has a little brother who is already 1 1/2 years old, Vinny. I love both boys so much.
I constantly live in this paradoxical existence, of being so happy in the present with Vinny, watching him grow and learn, making him laugh, enjoying life with him. But there is this other side, a sad and mournful side that is always lurking, not in a bad way, but just there under the surface. Sometimes I don't even notice it anymore. I feel guilty when that happens. Am I forgetting about Alfy?
It's amazing what the last three years have brought. Two beautiful boys, one who is not here, one who is and so much love in my heart for both.
